A week has flown by and I've decided that these days are flying by too fast........

Our first week was full.........of sweet baby smells and cuddles and I felt cocooned from the world......just our family these first few days.......welcoming this new little person into our midst and learning who she is. I look at her and think it was not long ago she was inside me being fashioned by God and knit together perfectly......as the angels sang her lullabies. It is a wondrous thing to be so close to one so fresh from God!
Hannah nursed immediately after birth......for about an hour she just sucked and was content. She was also pretty alert right from the start. I think she knew she had to be coming into this big family of loud kids!
Her favorite thing to do is nurse.......and nurse some more. When she does fall asleep one of her siblings is always there to cuddle her and so it seems she is never put down.......I love seeing her older brothers and sisters taking her and loving on her.......it makes my Mommy heart so happy!!
Grandma arrived on Weds. to spend some time helping us out. It was great to have her and the kids really enjoyed it. It's great that my Mom can come stay with us and she really enjoyed the baby of course!!
By Saturday I had to admit that Hannah was looking really yellow and after talking to Jessica we decided to take her to Dr. Chi for a check on her billirubin level. All my other kids had to be under the lights and it looked like Hannah Grace would have to as well. Brian and Garrett drove us down and as soon as Dr. Chi saw her he sent us for blood work. He said she looked like a sweet potato! The rest of her check up was fine.
Turns out her level was 22......and off to the maternity ward at Hackettstown Hospital we went. I was sad to have to go as I was trying to avoid it but it had to be done. She got under the lights around 6 and by midnight her level was down to 20.......then by 6am it was 18. They kept us another night to make sure and by 6 am Monday morning it was 12! Yeah!! They took her off the lights and when we left she was 13 and holding her own.
One good thing was I started a sweater for her to wear on Easter and now it is almost done. So at one week old she is now 6 lbs. 6oz. and her color looks great.......she needs to gain back that weight she lost but other then that all is well!! This time is going by fast and I want to remember all of it.......enjoy all of it and savor every minute!!

I hope to keep up with this journal of her early days and then maybe go to a monthly update as she gets older.........I think this will help me with my scrapbooking later on as I go to journal on the pages I can just pull everything off the blog. As I am sure that my time for scrapping will be limited for a while!!

I want to get this all down before I begin to forget those precious little details that made all of it so magically perfect.......as only a story woven by God the amazing creator could be!

This story begins and ends with trust......and it was only held all together by the loving hand of my Father God. I have told the beginning before......miscarriages 2 in a row and then nothing and the knowing that our baby time might be over. That our family of 7 blessings was complete and that just as I had trusted God to increase our family in His time I now had to trust that He knew when we were done. But I am a Mom.....that's who I am .......and having babies and raising these children for God is who and what I am.......I was not ready to be done with babies. I struggled for over a year and finally after much wrestling with God on the matter began to see the wrong of my thinking. That I of course did not know what was best.....God did.....(gee, imagine that!) And I needed to move on and be thankful for my healthy tribe of 7 .......move on to the next season and the next work God had for me to do.

Our God tells us that we do not understand His ways ......we are not to even try. Just trust......believe......have faith and know He is in control. And so I do this and in doing so I grow.....closer to him......in my faith and my trust and I KNOW HE IS IN CONTROL.

The beginning of last year was not an easy time as my Dad's cancer got worse and then he went to be with the Lord in April. Through that time I began running more for therapy then for fitness. But heh, I lost 20 lbs. and ran a few 5k's! I was in better shape then I had been in years.

Then I began feeling tired and after a quick pregnancy test we found out we were expecting. Brian and I were both feeling mixed emotions. Would I miscarry again? Or was God doing something else?

Every where we turned God told us to trust. Devotions we read, sermons we heard, scripture, it all pointed to trust. And so we did. Others around us friends and family all had their concerns ......we chose to ignore them all and focus on the only voice that truly mattered.....Gods.

The fact that we wanted a homebirth this time around was something I had desired for a while. After much prayer Brian and I both felt that was God's plan.

All of my babies have been early and so we figured  she would make her arrival earlier then expected. And that is exactly what she did....

I was excited this past Saturday (Feb 26) because I was finally 37 weeks and now I could safely have this  baby anytime. Brian was off and decided to take me and Emily and Elaina out on some errands. We ran to tractor Supply and then into Middletown to JoAnnes for more yarn. We ate lunch at Applebees and then headed home. I sat up that night knitting and we finally headed to bed around 11ish. I had just laid down and I felt a small pop...I think I heard it too. Then a second later my water started to trickle. I rolled over and told Brian and we both began to get excited!

Now I usually have fast labors......once my water breaks it's only hours until the baby arrives. So with that in mind Brian began setting up the pool (for the water birth) and I remade the bed and called Jessica my midwife to give her the heads up. But I was not having any contractions yet so I felt really good. Jessica said try to sleep and call when the contractions are 5 minutes apart and that is when we should fill the pool.
So I tried to sleep....contractions were 10-20 minutes sometimes longer spaced and they were not painful at all. So we slept and woke up the next morning wondering what was taking so long. It was pretty sunny out so we went for a walk. It was crazy the more I walked the more they spaced out, but when I came in and laid down the contractions got closer together.

By 3pm I talked to Jessica and she gave me the option of cooking up some eggs and putting castor oil in them to get things moving a little better. So at around 4pm I ate up those eggs and Brian and I went for another walk. I felt great really......the contractions got consistent again and at around 5:30 we called Jessica because they were almost 5 min. apart. But not really painful.
I went to lay down and wait for Jessica and about 6:00pm things began to get more serious. These contractions were doing something and they were the first ones that had some pain to them. I told Brian he better fill that pool fast......things  were moving quick! But I still felt really good.

Jessica and Dylete arrived and got things set up. I got up and knew I would be holding this baby soon. I decided to get into the tub to relax little.......it was 7:30. And it was a good thing I did because I only had 3 contractions in that pool before Hannah Grace made her appearance at 7:44pm!

The pool was amazing and I should have got in sooner! Jessica got me in and then just stepped back and said you can just push when you feel ready and reach down and grab her.

I was a little worried about actually being able to do that. But I pushed once, felt her head and she slid out into my arms......it was all so gentle and just the most amazing experience ever!

But poor Brian was going to help grab her too, but a second before he ran downstairs to let the girls know it was time and by the time he came up she was out already! I felt so bad for him.......he could not believe he had missed it! Jacob, Caleb and Christopher were right there the whole time and Caleb's response as she came out was....."Wow Mom, she came out like a bomb!" And they were all giggling and so excited....Caleb began taking his clothes off so he could jump in and swim with us! I just could not believe she was here......and perfect........and I closed my eyes and thanked my God who I trusted for this amazing gift.

And that is what she is.......a gift.......God tells us in Psalm 37


And that is the story and one that has changed our lives forever.......we have a God that hears our cries and He answers them.....we might not always understand the answer and we might not like the timing or His methods but they are always right and good for us......always. Just as this baby stretched and changed me inside God used this experience to stretch and change our whole family! I can never praise Him enough for the joy of knowing He loves me and wants to give me the desires of my heart.



As I sit here 3 days after the birth I still find it hard to believe she is here and we have another precious blessing to raise for Him. I keep telling Brian to pinch me! My prayer is to stay in this place of awe........to always look at my God in wonder and amazement at His love and mercy towards me. To live in a state of thankfulness no matter what God allows to come our way and to always trust and believe........look at this child........how can I not.